Lost & Found: His Name

A week later, I dreamt of being at someone's home for a dinner party. The doorbell rang. I offered to get the door for the host. When I opened it, there He was. We looked at each other, both a bit surprised. I was smiling, as neither one of us could run at that point. 

For some reason, Mr. Rogers’s style, I offered to take his coat and replace it with a hoodie for dinner. I offered Him a green hoodie—which I was wearing that day—or a red one. He chose red. We sat at the table smiling like, ok, finally…hello.

That dream was followed by another dream of Him. I was looking at an apartment to rent above a restaurant when the owner said, "I have a surprise for you!"

Then being driven in some fancy celebrity car was Him. He looked like a rock star. We hugged, and I apologized for walking by. It was a happy reunion. But a quick visit. He had to run to a concert. I can't recall.

"Wait, wait," I said. "I never got your name."

Just as He was telling me His name, a marching band appeared on both sides of us and started playing celebratory music while He continued talking. 

"Den," he continued.

"What? Wait! I missed that. What was your name?" I asked again as the band continued to play. "Did you say, Dan?"

"I have family in Den Haag," He carried on sharing about Himself. He didn't hear me say that I didn't hear Him over the music.

"Wait, you said your name is Dan? Or you have family in Den Haag?" I tried to clarify before He realized his rock star car was waiting.

"I have to run!" He said, then gave me a big hug before He got in His car.

Oh, come on, Universe! Now you're just taking the piss—as the English say—with me! A marching band? Really? Right as He's telling me His name?

Hey Amsterdam Angel! You got family in Den Haag? That's what You said to me in a dream.

The following week I was having lunch in The Rambles after a ketamine session. A mother and daughter were photographing the cardinals. I overheard them speaking Dutch.  

"Ben jij Nederlands," I said without flinching, the first line of my play.

They were from, yup, Den Haag. Coincidence? At this point, I didn't believe in coincidences.

Hey Amsterdam Angel! You got a mom and a sister?

And yes, He’s visited in meditations again. Explain those psychologists. Explain those New Age people.

I'm going to agree with Him. With You.

This.

All of it.

Every moment.

Every person.

Whether they reflected love or something 

unpleasant that I didn't want to face. 

This is love, in Your own words, and I surrender to it.

Yes! There have been dreams of Gloria, too, as of recent. Showing up like any good girlfriend does to take the mind off men…or muses.

He's been my imaginary friend for twenty-one years, a Siamese energy twin that doesn't seem to be going anywhere from the ethers. We'll see if He does when this final piece is complete. Now, I can't imagine what more there is to write about Him. 

However, I've been wrong before…

“We are not put on this earth to see through one another. 

 We are put on this earth to see one another through."  

 Gloria Vanderbilt